Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Fragile X and faith

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11

Fragile X Syndrome has been known in my life for almost nine years now. I don't think I was familiar with that bible verse back then. I was a believer, but did I think God had an actual plan for me? Not really. And even if I had realized it, I didn't let that fact have any bearing on my life or decisions.

So when Drew was diagnosed with Fragile X, I was quite depressed. My mother-in-law told me that God must have thought we were very special people to put Drew in our care. I appreciated that, and thought it was very sweet of her to think we were special, but still, I didn't consider that Drew was placed in our lives for a specific purpose. I thought, "Why us?" "Why does our baby have to have Fragile X?" This was not in my plan for our lives. At all.

But, Fragile X was in God's plan for our lives. And I wasn't always ok with this. I have railed at God, telling him how much I hated the difficulties we had. Ok, I admit, sometimes I still do. But recently, when I was reading on in the book of Jeremiah, the verses following my favorite one jumped off the page at me. They say, "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Let me tell you, Fragile X has brought me to my knees before my Savior many, many times. I have sought counsel before the throne of the One who has a plan for my life. And I believe He has answered my prayers. Life with Fragile X isn't always easy, but it has brought me closer to God, and He has laid out a path before me which, though I know isn't always easy, is never a lonely path. He is always there with me. I don't know if I would have sought Him as much without Fragile X presenting so many challenges in our lives. And we have been blessed in mighty ways by those sweet boys we were given.


Anonymous said...


Peggy E.

the other lion said...

AMEN! Thanks for sharing.

Mark said...

He always draws us back to him (Crist Jesus).

Landon Andrew said...

You are right on girl! Love the post because it's truth.

fragilemom said...

I hafta tell ya. That Jer. 29:11-13 has been my 'life verse' since I became a believer. I, of course, had different plans for the verse. It wasn't until I came to grips with Ian's diagnosis that the eyes of my heart were opened to what this verse really meant for my life....for my childrens' lives. As one by one, each of my children was diagnosed positive, that verse became a larger part of my life. I still don't understand A LOT, but that's okay. I don't have to understand it all. Besides, if I did, what reason would I have to lean on Christ and draw closer to Him? He so knows what He's doing. Thanks for the entry!

Jodie said...

I completly agree with you! God does hear and answer our prayers. Maybe not on our time table, but they are always answered! And yes, our pathway may not be an easy one, but it WILL be worth it in the end!

Oh, and I have to agree with Nancy - you and Eric are very special people. And that is why you were both given those special special boys!

Holly's Mom said...

Sorry to be the contrary respondant hear, but I think I just must not have a very good relationship with god right now. I have never been that close to him, and well.. I think now I am just still plan mad. I love how Holly has turned out and I feel so lucky that she seems to be doing so well, but I attribute that to her determination, and when I think about the possible difficulties in her future, well, it just makes me more mad, and when I think about having another baby. when I am so in love with motherhood, and what a challange that will be, it just makes me angry, and well I don;t have anyone else to be angry at other then him.. I guess its good to hear others get to a place that makes them happy and closer to god if that is what they are looking for, and I do wish I had those feelings well because it seems to so comfort and support other people, but maybe I am just too angry to be open to it right now. thanks for sharing though, your post did make me really think.