Sunday, September 16, 2012

Fragile X and faith, part 2

I reposted my Fragile X and faith blog post on Facebook and it got me thinking.  I wrote that post over three years ago.  How has my faith changed and grown since then?  And what does that have to do with Fragile X?  Well, for me, it has a lot to do with Fragile X.  Fragile X is part of who I am.  Who God made me to be.  I am a premutation carrier of Fragile X, and with it comes some challenges.  The challenges of having two boys with Fragile X hasn't diminished.  The challenges have certainly changed.  My faith that God loves my boys even more than I do brings me comfort.  The psalmist says this of the Lord, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."  I believe this to be true.  When God was putting my sons together, He knew what he was doing.  Perhaps I might not have sought the Lord had our live been different than others?  I know that I instinctively call out to Him during the hard times in my life more than when things are easy. 

And life is a challenge for our kids.  We are teaching them to pray and ask the Lord to help them.  It seems that they have a certain connection with Him that we can't understand.  I oftentimes find Drew with his bible open in his lap.  Now, I can't say I know he's reading it, but something about it draws him in.  When he hears me listening to sermons online he listens in and says, "He's talking about God, Mom."  And he always reminds us to "Pray to God" (quoting because that's how he says it) 

I think when I posted my original Fragile X and faith blog, we hadn't really taught our boys much about the Lord.   It was hard to know what they understood and what they didn't.  It was easier to not say anything at all.  But, I knew that was not what God wanted from me.  Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."  I want to teach my boys to be mindful of God as a way of life.  Not just when things are hard. 

I am waiting for the Lord's return.  Even my best day in this life can't compare to the glory that awaits.  No future goal of mine or plan for the next vacation draws me as much as the desire to live in a restored earth in a new body with those I love and the Savior who has brought it to pass.  I know people think that's crazy.  I've heard it time and again.  I am okay with that.  The bible says, "Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it."  and considering all the things happening in this world, it may not be too far off.   "And this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed." 


Anonymous said...

I'm a dad of a Fraxer too. It is amazing the connection he has to faith, even from a very early age. He loves church, he reminds me to pray, he knows the basics: "Jesus died for my sins and rose again from the dead." In the end, not sure what else I could ask for that is more important than this. Blessings to you. Keep up the good fight.